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camilles is: in love an artist a friend a sister a daughter a daughter-in-law shy an introvert dorky silly cool i took a break in november 05 nothing in june 06 too busy in september 06 december was busy, too february? forget about it got lazy in may |
 h a p p i n e s s it's been pouring rain all day. miserable, pouring, windy rain. i had to struggle pretty hard to fight being distracted while i tried to get through a bunch of work, since i'll be gone all next week. part of it was the rain. part of it was the fact that i'm going to be gone for a week. part of it was that the company perk i referred to earlier this month was officially announced today. in february, as long as nothing crazy and out of my control happens, i'll be taking a trip to mexico to participate in a 4 day off-road driving adventure that starts in cabo (driving race cars like the one at the bottom of the page). this is a pretty huge deal for me, because it's part of a project that i've been working on for (and i'm not kidding) over a year and a half. the fact i get to go on the trip is just a huge, unexpected bonus. huge. like, when will i ever have $4000+ to spend on a 4 day trip? plus get to count it as work? anyway. it's pretty exciting. i counted about 3 full weeks of work between now and then, and i'm STOKED. one of my friends at work shuffled into my office around noon to stare at the rain since i have a real window that looks outside, and not just into the hallway or someone else's office. and then asked if i was going out in the rain at lunch. and then asked if i was going home for lunch. i took this as a roundabout way of asking if i would rather go out for lunch instead of go home for lunch. and i was right. we got blasted by the windy rain running to his truck, but at least i didn't have to go home and eat another frozen tamale for lunch. and since i've been coming home to an empty house all week, i enjoyed having some company. i had plans to meet up with abbey after work for a quick dinner. when i called her, it was still pouring and windy, so we decided to postpone for another time. when i finally packed up everything i needed for the week from the office, i cruised over to target to pick up some hair junk and kill some time, since i knew all i had at home waiting for me was a frozen tamale, or maybe a can of soup. while i was trying on a pair of real patent leather shoes that only cost $15 (i bought them!), my buddy shane called and told me the he knew i wanted to swing by his house for a body massage and maybe some pizza. and i said i'd try to swing by, since by then i was in the middle of running some errands. by the time i got out of the bookstore (picked up a guidebook for orlando, for me and my mom)...i was feeling kind of anti-social. i called him in the parking lot to tell him i was going to bail and go home, but he told me i needed a body massage, and i realized that i actually did. so i went to his place and he fixed me a body massage. which is a tasty concoction of vodka, mountain dew, and lemon juice. and i had a slice of pizza. and just enjoyed hanging out for a little bit with him and his roommate, before heading back home. when i got home, i was happy to find the book that leanne had left for me to read on my trip. we had talked about it when we had gone out for dinner on wednesday. the moral of this entire story, is that i'm really thankful for all my friends. because i can always rely on them to keep me company and show me a good time and save me from frozen tamales. even when i don't realize i need to be saved. camilles (7:42pm, 11.30.07)
 n o t a n y b e t t e r i had grand plans of cleaning tonight, but i got wrapped up in first trying to do yoga (which i gave up on, because i was too distracted), and then working on gifts for my sweetie. this year, it seems i've got an abundance of ideas for him. i just hope i have as much luck working out gifts for the rest of my family and friends. today, i was on the phone with a gentleman i had met at the recent trade show, and he shared the good news that he had recently found out his wife was pregnant. he started to ask if i had kids...then stopped himself. "oh, but your not nearly as old as i am. i'm 30! you are what? early 20s?" he asked. to which i replied, "actually, i'll be 30 on my next birthday." he seriously couldn't believe that i was the same age as him. so i told him that i'm just holding up well. secretly, i'm looking forward to turning 30, because it sounds like it should be old, when it doesn't seem like it to me. i just hope this older-than-i-look thing continues. lots of sunscreen. and eye cream, now that i noticed some wrinkles beginning to appear. last night as i was tossing in bed, i was struck with inspiration. i think i'm going to start another website, mainly to host my journal writings. and i'll keep this one for photos and art projects. i'll let you know where i go, if i go. ok. i'm going to get some apple pies from mcdonalds, and then try to clean up downstairs. baby steps. camilles (7:25pm, 11.27.07)
did you have a fantastic thanksgiving? we did! between carne asada night on wednesday, dinner with my folks and dessert with the in-laws on thursday, a day at the long beach aquarium with greg on friday, and camping out in the desert with scott & summer on saturday/sunday...i'm wiped. i'm a bachelorette for the week, and then i'm off to orlando on saturday. my sweeto left a minor whirlwind of disaster behind, which i probably should start trying to clean up. but honestly, i just don't feel like doing it right now. there are clothes lying around. dishes to be done. papers to be thrown away. how do we generate so much paper? regardless, i just don't feel like doing it. instead, i'm enjoying lying on the couch, watching judge judy, digesting the take-out indian food i like so much, contemplating what sort of junk food i'll get into once i get the energy to get up. i think i'll work on my sweeto's birthday presents. i'm getting there. love the holidays. love my husband! camilles (7:21pm, 11.26.07)
 g o o d p o s t u r e someone made a comment about my perfect posture today. he caught me sitting at my desk, typing away at my computer, with my perfect posture. my mom would be so proud, because i've always been a sloucher. i still slip up sometimes, especially when i'm tired. but overall, i think my posture is pretty good. in the past, i think i slouched because i didn't want anybody to notice me. so instead of seeing a confident person, everyone saw a gangly thing folding in on herself. i'll blame my good posture on yoga. and maybe as i've gotten older, i've gotten more confident. or maybe i just don't care anymore? when i was younger, my mom would always try to get me to stand up straight and look boys in the eye and smile at them. at the grocery store. at the video store. at church. but i was too painfully shy. part of that part of me still hasn't gone away. when i was picking up pizza tonight, the nice young man working at the counter was obviously smiling at me (he probably didn't realize i was 10 years older than him!)...and i could feel myself wilting away a little bit. what's my problem? why am i STILL so awkward and dorky sometimes? i'm so lucky jeff finds my weirdness endearing. camilles (7:08pm, 11.14.07)
 h o l i d a y s a r e c o m i n g i can't believe the holidays are just around the corner! this part of the year seem to go so fast for me. between shows and traveling and holidays, these months seem to fly by. jeff and i have been discussing possibilities for where we might want to travel over the christmas break. last year, it was europe, and it was an amazing experience getting to be in the cold weather and see 3 different parts of europe during such a festive time. this year, we were kind of thinking somewhere warm would be nice. i'm HOPING we'll be able to cash in some of his hard earned frequent flier miles. he's got a ton of them. my mom is coming out to orlando with me at the beginning of december which will make my business trip a lot more fun. we'll have 2 whole days to just hang out and have girl time. lucky me to get the company. lucky my mom, who is now retired and can just make plans to cruise around the country with her kids if she wants to. hopefully my dad will be able to keep himself busy for a few days while we are away. i'm going to sign off now, so i can play some wii with my husband. camilles (9:19pm, 11.12.07)
the other day while i was running around in the bathroom, i caught a glimpse of my tattoo in the mirror. what struck me is that i totally love it. since i'm stuck with it, i guess i had better love it. :) i never really talked much about how i ended up with it. obviously, i had been thinking about it for a while. and actually, i had been holding onto a gift certificate that some friends gave me as part of my wedding present. it just took me a while to find inspiration. would you believe that it came from the inside of one of my shoes? there was an oriental tapestry print on the inside my shoe, and i totally loved it, so i started researching chinese fabrics and paintings, and what all the symbolism of the different elements meant. i knew i didn't want cherry blossoms, and while i considered peach blossoms for a while, i liked the message of persistence and resilience that plum blossoms represented. i had a vague idea of how i wanted it to look, but i left it up to the artist i went with to do his job and work something up. he did a great job. sometimes i think i might want more. maybe my sweetie will get one? camilles (9:09pm, 11.9.07)
 i t ' s a d i s a s t e r ! who the heck are those two skinny looking kids out in the middle of the desert? :) i was hoping to put a picture of how awesome my hair looks today, and i can't find a camera. so i thought it would be fun to try to find a picture from around this time whatever number of years ago. this picture is from 6 years ago. it's funny how you don't really see yourself changing from day to day, and then you look at something like that and realize that time has passed. my sweeto looks like a little boy! anyway, do you ever catch yourself getting into a phase where you seem to be saying something a whole lot? for example, saying "like" all the time? or "forildo" or "that's hot"? ok, i don't really say those last two things, but i will admit to saying "like" and "totally" and "bummer" way more than i should. but my latest thing that i catch myself saying more than once a day? "it's a disaster!" ha ha ha. weird, huh? and it's not even things that are really that bad. it could be that my pen ran out of ink, or the dvr locks up, or i can't find my digital camera. but they are all disasters. fortunately, everyone knows that i don't really think they are disasters. i guess the good part about it is that if the closest thing to a disaster for me is that i found chapstick stains on my favorite tank top this morning, things aren't so bad. as for the doomed friendship i alluded to a few days ago, that really might be a disaster. but i'm at peace with the situation, and as bummed (there i go again!) as i was over the weekend while i was thinking about it, now it doesn't seem so bad. camilles (5:35pm, 11.7.07)
 w o r k p e r k s i've spent the last 24 hours sleeping, snacking, watching tv, and not talking to anybody. my throat had felt like it was bleeding since friday morning, so after i dropped jeff off at the airport yesterday morning, i took the opportunity to just go back to sleep. when i finally got up, i showered, grabbed some groceries, and planted my rear end on the couch for a full day of recovery. i feel pretty good this morning. i'm hoping to be productive. just got back from the biggest show of the year. jeff (pictured above with bumblebee from the transformers movie), ben, my parents, and father-in-law were all able to make it out to see what the fuss is all about. it's kind of cool for the parental units to get a better idea of what it is that i do for a living, even though the part that involves standing around in a booth with sore feet trying not to sweat, while pretending to be happy even though i've only been sleeping 4 or 5 hours a night, is just a very minor part of my job. plus, they happened to see me on the one day that i was really hating being there. 95% of the time i really, really like my job. the other 5% is the times i hate being sweaty and having numb toes.
 some of the fun of the show is getting to see the crazy contraptions people build. behold...the donkeyfrog. we don't see too many "donks" on the west coast, yet. it's like a lifted lowrider. this one had giant spinner wheels on one side, and clear wheels on the other side.
 my boss always says that depending on what part of the company you work in, you can expect different kinds of perks. the race car above could sort of be considered one of mine... i've worked hard enough for it, so jeff and ben, stole me and another coworker away for a few minutes so we could go look at it. let's just say, my first order of business this morning, after eating some frosted mini-wheats, was digging up my passport. the only sad thing about this past week, other than my numb big toes (which will recover in 4 months), is that i discovered i'm involved in an inevitably doomed friendship. while i have had a secret feeling for some time that it just wasn't meant to be, my suspicions were confirmed. when i got the news earlier this week, the only thing i could think to do was apologize for being who i am...which is totally and completely lame, because the one thing that is the problem is the fact i was born a girl. yesterday as i sat around recovering and not talking to anyone, i started to understand the impact of what the truth of the situation means. it pretty much means that no matter what, this friendship has a hard and fast expiration date, and unlike other friendships that may linger and fade, this one will exist one day, and the next day be over. why do people have to be so complicated? i guess the only thing to do is try to enjoy it while it lasts. camilles (9:21am, 11.4.07)
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Jeff
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